Grey Skies, Dark Days

Pour your misery down on me
I'm only happy when it rains
(lyrics from "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage)

It's been raining for the past couple of days and I could not be happier. There is such a thing as too many sunny days. I like the steady patter of raindrops hitting the ground. I like to look out of the window and see only a solitary person hurrying back towards shelter. I like the sound of cars sloshing through puddles.

I like watching my dog watch the rain pour down. She's lying on her side right now, with one paw resting gently on the sill of the giant window in my room. It's a spot she loves. There's a sheer curtain that gently nudges her head, stirred by the breeeze from a fan. I think she enjoys the way that feels.

I like going to the refrigerator every couple of hours and helping myself to a single forkful of mango sorbet. I like letting it melt in my mouth.

I like agonizing over which CD to play. I love the old-fashioned joy of having to place a physical disc in a machine so that I can listen to music. I love the irony of describing a CD as old-fashioned. It's only been a couple of years since I finally threw out all my cassette tapes after my last cassette player broke. I had bought some of them when I was still in school and had to save up pocket money for weeks so that I could buy one more album. It was a sad day and I remember it well. The sun was blazing down on my back as I carried the box of tapes out of my apartment.

I like thinking about whether I should make myself some coffee. I can already smell the aroma and feel the weight of the mug in my hand. No, I think I will just stare unseeingly at the window and focus on hearing every note and every beat of the Dream Theater CD that I finally decided to put on.

I'm really happy when it rains.