My Wierdness Is Bigger Than Your Wierdness

For the most part, I loved being in school. Not in a sepia-tinted, looking-back-at-my-childhood sort of way; I loved being in school while I was still in school. But one thing that I did not enjoy was the pressure to conform. It was no fun thinking that others thought that you were not like them. But I told myself once we grew up, got jobs and earned some money, then we'd all feel much more confident about being and showing who we really were.

Apparently I was wrong.

I've had a series of conversations with different colleagues over the past week which brought this home to me. "I have a terrible secret," each one seemed to say, "I think I'm different from other people. And I'm scared they will find out."

It's a poignant problem. If you work in an office then, like it or not, you spend a lot of your waking time there. More importantly, a large portion of the time you spend with other people is at the office. So I guess its only natural to want to feel that you belong with the group that you work with. I know I'd want to feel that way. (I used to think that I was so introverted that this did not apply to me. I know better now). But what if you start believing that to belong to the group you need to somehow submerge your individuality and hide what makes you unique? I'd hate it if I had to face that choice. I don't want to wear a disguise to the office just so that they'll let me in through the door.

I think I've been lucky to find friends at work. There are enough people in my office whom I like and trust to the point that I can be completely natural with them, which means that I can be completely natural in the office. I've only just realized how liberating that is. And how fortunate I am to have those friends.

So thank you, fellow misfits, for welcoming my strangeness. You're the reason my memories of school are fond.